Real Women Real Stories - Devina Kaur
Founder - Sexy Brilliant Global Revolution
Author - Too Fat, Too Loud, Too Ambitious
Believer - Kaur Process
Devina Kaur is a fun-loving, flamboyant, straight-talking author, entrepreneur, filmmaker, researcher, and inspirational speaker. Born and raised in rural India, she fought to reconcile her traditional upbringing with her ambitions. After a lifetime of being told that she was too fat, too loud, and too ambitious, her world fell apart when she was in her 30s after her arranged marriage ended. Thirty years of desperately trying to be the person everyone else wanted, had resulted in loneliness, depression, and confusion. While looking for purpose and meaning, Devina embarked on a journey of self-discovery that led her to start the non-profit foundation Sexy Brilliant™ Global Revolution.
Q. Did you know you were always going to do this? What drives you and how do you balance goals and experiences?
DK - I was born and raised in a traditional Punjabi family in India, I was constantly told that my body was too fat to be loved, my laugh was too loud and masculine and that my ambition was too much for the world. Through years of therapy and professional help, I have UNLEARNED this previous conditioning and discovered that my inner wealth was never too fat for me to celebrate, my laugh is perfect to attract the right people and my ambition is never too much. Today, I can confidently say that my biggest motivation stems from wanting to inspire others to be their divine authentic selves, especially in a world that reminds us daily what is wrong with us—whether it’s our bodies, our minds or whatever it is that makes us unique. My voice may be too loud for the world but it has never been too loud in my journey towards making my dreams come to life. That is ultimately what the Sexy Brilliant™ non-profit foundation is all about. Being uniquely, perfectly YOU and removing the shame and stigma associated with being authentic. I want to leave a legacy that speaks to what I have to offer this world; I want the Sexy Brilliant community to feel encouraged about who they are without feeling ashamed of being the truest version of themselves. Everybody has something to offer. We need to celebrate one another for the value that each of us brings to the table, and extends that table for future generations. So to answer your question, It is a calling that was inspired by my unlearning process and is part of me confirming my right to be me. I want that for everyone!
Q - There’s nothing more brilliant than a woman owning herself and spreading the knowledge to others. But assuming you always pen down the experiences that shape you, what led you to write the book?
DK- Putting together my book ‘TOO FAT, TOO LOUD, TOO AMBITIOUS’ was a personal challenge in writing and it was deeply intimate because for me it was symbolic of how far I’ve come not only in terms of my career but also as an individual. I hope by sharing more of myself with the world in the most authentic yet brilliantly sexy and unapologetic way that others find the courage to do the same. Life is such an adventure, we all have problems and challenges however being resilient is the key. It’s resilience that took me from where I was as a person to where I am today. My journey will never stop. My creative self-expression is something I look forward to sharing with the world and those I love. Writing is just one of the many ways I do that.
Finding the superficiality of traditional online dating a bore, Devina turned to Craigslist for more genuine connections. She committed to deconstructing the formality of dating and “keeping things real.” When meeting a new person, Devina would always affirm that she was not just, “Okay”, she was, “Always sexy. Always brilliant.” The words she spoke would determine and shape her frame of mind, and ultimately, the kinds of people she would attract. With every new connection and adventure, Devina uncovered her true self, and she realized that the only way she would have true and lasting love in her life was to love herself first! Thus, the Sexy Brilliant ideology and global revolution was born, developed, and shared around the world.
Q. To make your story relatable to those who might need some inspiration, and since we are a magazine focused on empowering women, can you share your challenges as a woman in your line and how you overcame them?
DK - Challenges come on the path to true success, and nobody is exempt from experiencing difficulties that will ultimately test our strength and courage. My journey has been filled with many challenges, from overcoming addictions to living a lonely life in the world of a start-up business. Enduring a semi-arranged marriage, to being a full-time single mother. It’s not easy, however, I am thankful for the entire journey because not only have I grown from my experiences but I’ve learned a lot from them. I always say there is strength in numbers and that means actively seeking out support from people that love you and you look up to. Getting the right team and professionals is key to a good support system in your life. When you are surrounded by spiritually wise, genuine people you will be more inclined to find joy in daily things. This has motivated me to achieve my goals and face challenges. It makes the tough times seem less of a burden to me.
I have struggled with depression and I just want to say, If you are struggling with dark thoughts, remember that no part of you is your own enemy. Welcome every moment and feeling and treat every emotion like a gift; never be ashamed to seek professional help to grow into a version of yourself that you would be proud of—in spite of all the difficulties you face, know they will shape you into a stronger, more resilient person.
Q. Is there a passion that you are working towards and how?
DK - I’m working on a short book series that will help guide those who are going through various challenges in their lives for instance addictions, insecurities, and eating disorders to regain purpose. As somebody who has struggled with addictions and eating disorders myself, these issues matter to me because I know the journey of going through them can be hard and lonely. The purpose of the series is to help people find their sense of self and to make them understand that they are worthy of healing and love. With this being said, there are so many exciting things I am working on because I’m the type of person who is always buzzing with ideas and strategizing with my wonderful team. I want to change the world and empower people through the work of the Sexy Brilliant non-profit foundation in removing toxic shame and raising human consciousness.
Q. What advice do you wish to give to someone who may be in a similar situation as you?
DK - Don't wait for others to make things happen, don't wait for permission and let go of the labels. When you practice radical acceptance of others you also make room to be less self-judgemental.
Never change yourself to fit the standards of the world and those around you. Being authentic is something that nobody should fear because authenticity is the new currency of the world. Embrace yourself in such a way that it leaves no room for other people to treat you less than you deserve. Be kind, patient and have compassion for yourself. Don’t rush according to other people’s timelines at the same time don’t delay any further the happiness you know you deserve.
Be respectful to your friends, family and strangers alike but understand that they all speak and judge from their own perceived level of consciousness. Your challenge is to unlearn the old programming while listening to your own intuition and inner voice. Never be afraid to follow your dreams because the world needs to hear them. Understand that not everybody will love or cherish you the way you think you deserve. As long as you have yourself and are surrounded by those who want to see the best in you, nothing else matters.
Q. What is your life motto, quote, and belief that keeps you motivated to your goal?
DK - Always Sexy! Always Brilliant! That is my mantra. What I have learned after surviving the startup world is that it is important to be flexible in your goals. That also means staying focused but being willing to change course as you receive new information. Dream big, energy follows intention.
Q. Lastly, tell us about your book! What can we expect from it?
DK - When you read ‘Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious’ I think some readers might be a little shocked by my openness and honesty. The book has its racy moments as I talk about sexual pleasure and my relationship with my body. I hope that readers will find it refreshing and eye-opening. My goal is to lift the veil of shame by talking about the things that many people feel too guarded to talk about for fear of judgment. I just felt that it was important to lead the way for others by showing them they are not alone and the path to authentic self-love does not have to be so scary. The KAUR™ process that I outline in the book is meant to provide a clear illuminated path that is easier to follow to help you find your own sexy brilliance.
Devina, although gifted with expression, is diagnosed with ADD and writing a book did not come naturally to her. She is best described as an accidental author. Devina communicates well across cultures, speaking several languages including English, Hindi, Punjabi French, and Spanish. In addition to her business, Devina is a humanitarian and philanthropist, most recently travelling to volunteer at orphanages in India, Rwanda and Guatemala. In addition to her role as a businesswoman, Devina is a martial artist, yogi, full-time single mother, lover of animals and people alike and lives with her family in Canada.
Please discover Devina and her message of empowerment on www.sexybrilliant.org
Sexy Brilliant™ is a non-profit foundation dedicated to removing toxic shame and raising human consciousness. At the heart of Sexy Brilliant ideology lies the universal concept that we are all worthy of love.
All your purchases and donations help support our non-profit foundation to raise human consciousness.
Devina has developed her signature, life-changing KAUR™ process, and her online courses are changing lives all over the world, as her students learn to rediscover their divine authentic selves!